Thursday, 20 November 2014

Barriers to Communication


An Analysis of the Movie
“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”

Part 2 of 2

This analysis is an exercise for you and your spouse to learn more about barriers to communication in marriage. It is based on the movie, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. “ The five terms below are placed in the order as they appeared in movie.  Under each term is a quotation from the movie.  Underneath the quote is brief analysis.

 

Moralizing


Wife is in kitchen.  She lights up a cigarette.  From the next room, her mother almost instantaneously yells out, “Helen, are you smoking again” [with the implication that it is quite wrong to do].  Helen, immediately extinguishes (smashes) the cigarette and yells back, “Noooo.”   She then chops down on a head of lettuce in frustration.

Marriage counseling ft myers understands that this condescending “better than thou” attitude undermines the concepts of acceptance and unconditional love.


Criticizing  (Judging)


When the Christmas lights on the house do not light after the first attempt, when everyone is standing outside in anticipation, the mother in-law chimes in, “Talk about pissing your money away.  I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.”

Marriage counseling estero knows that constant criticism poisons the atmosphere of the home and the marital relationship. The spouse who is criticized rarely feels accepted or “good enough”.

Interrupting 

After the Christmas house lights do not light, Chevy says to his son, “Maybe we ought to go up there and just….”  The son interjects, “Whoa, jeez, look at the time.  Time for bed”.

Marriage counselor cape coral fl sees this habit as frustrating and anger producing. It also communicates to the speaking spouse that what they are saying is not important.

 

Name-calling


Because of the crowd of people staying at the house, the sister and brother have to sleep in the same bed.  When he turns and puts his arm on her, she says, “Get off me you little fungus.”

Marriage Counseling Bonita Springs realizes how distructive this habit is. Name calling and foul language directed toward your spouse communicates a lack of respect and care.

 

Blaming


After the cat is killed by chewing the electrical light cord on the Christmas tree, Chevy’s father-in-law sharply remarks, “I told you, you had too many plugs in one outlet.”

Blaming your spouse significantly weakens your ability as a couple to address problems effectively. Time and energy is used by the accused spouse to defend himself and an argumentative atmosphere prevails.               

For assistance with your marriage, contact Dr. Ken Newberger.  His direct phone is 239-689-4266.  Or, read about his process for healing your relationship on his website at: www.MarriageCounselingAlt.com/couple.htm.  He will meet with you in his office in Southwest Florida or help you online via Skype.